On BL Shipping – Am I a terrible human being?

Time for some random meandering thoughts, mostly for my own benefit – writing that post on my preferred ships in Gundam Wing got me thinking about my preference for wholly unhealthy ships in fiction and I thought I’d better attempt to examine the fascination with rather destructive relationships.  Can you tell I’m feeling rather introspective and trying to avoid work this morning?

Foe-Yay is something I’m a big fan of because the sparks that fly between enemies is absolutely fascinating – it may be completely destructive, but they’re magnetically attracted to each other time and again. It is easy to allow my awful imagination to run away from me and see that violent passion morphing into something else entirely. These relationships are completely unrealistic flights of fancy that could never actually happen, but I’m attracted to them regardless – I have strange fascination with dark angsty fanfics and doujinshi.

Maybe it is because they are fictional characters in a make-believe world? It is safe to have them damage each other, spiraling down a very dangerous rabbit hole to places no sane person would ever wish to go. I am intensely interested in the dark places the human psyche can go, fictional characters are easy to contort and ruin, and then reset and twist the knife again to see if they do something different. Stories that drive their characters right to the brink of absolute madness and despair entertain me more than I’m entirely comfortable with – what does it really say about me that I like to watch people break? I tend to justify the matter in that these aren’t real people, that it’s okay because it is fiction, but at the same time I prize a realistic approach – these things could actually happen.

I studied psychology and anthropology at University, I find human thought processes endlessly fascinating, but I still struggle to explain the dark attraction I have for twisted, broken characters and their destructive relationships. All I know is that the pairings I tend to favour consist of prickly characters that clash more often than they agree – the more volatile the relationship, the more interested I am! There is some comfort in knowing that I’m not alone on this – I don’t write fanfiction or doujins myself, yet I never run out of material covering my favoured ships and the darker side of their relationships. I suppose there is a reason why fujoshi means “rotten girl”.

Anyway there’s no actual point to this post, just something that I’ve been turning over in my head this morning while avoiding doing any real work!